Service

Services will be held today, Monday, September 21, 2009. 7pm
Presence of the Lord Christian Church
1655 E. Sixth Street, Suite B-1
Corona, CA 92879

In lieu of sending flowers, please make a donation in mom's name to the Presence of the Lord Christian Church. This was mom's home. All of our homes. Pastor Steve Gonzales and the congregation have been part of our family for 20 years. We will have envelopes at the service if you would like to make a donation in mom's name.

I'm not really sure how I feel today. I think we are ALL still kinda numb to the whole thing. I'm afraid of what's going to happen to us all after it hits us. Everyone will go home, we will all go back to our normal lives and then what happens? I call my mom 5 times a day to talk, she is the first person on my mind to call anytime anything happens. My sister and dad have to live in the same house where she has been forever. How will it all work out once we go back to our normal life? I can't even think about it right now.

I'm looking forward to the service to see everyone. To get a hug from everyone. To see people I haven't seen in years. To hear Pastor Steve sing. To just feel the great love of everyone and the presence of my mom. My mom.... really, she's gone? Really... It's just not real. I see her smiling all the time in the last few days at me... happy, heavier mom... not whittled down, not feeling well mom. I sat and went through tons of pictures for the slide show. I saw her smile. She HATED being in pictures. She tried not to smile and the second the picture was over she would go back to smiling. She was so funny.

She always told me that the song "Just to see you smile" By Tim McGraw was her song to me. She was so right. She would do ANYTHING for me, for any of us. When I was in High School I wanted to be a cheerleader so bad. It was so damn expensive at the time for just one year. But my mom knew how badly I wanted it so she made it happen. Those are the moments I go to when I hear this song and my mom telling me it reminds her of me.

Just to see you smile
Id do anything That you wanted me to
And all is said and done
Id never count the cost
Its worth all thats lost
Just to see you smile

There are so many songs that will always forever remind me of her. ANYTHING Beatles. Rubber Soul was her favorite as is mine. Patsy Cline, Crazy.... I know anytime I hear these songs I'll cry. Hell, before she even died when I knew she was sick and terminal... I cried. I cry often. I think we all do and will for a long time. We miss you mama. I know you are still here, just not, here, here.... but we miss you so much. Love you mama.