Thursday, September 30, 2010


It's been so hot lately I burst into flames!!!

Gotta LOVE MY JOB!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Mind Muscle

I know this sounds crazy, but I am such a big fan of Kaiser Permanente's commercials. I love their TV Commercials and also their radio ones! No, I don't work for Kaiser or even have their insurance, nor are they paying me for this ad. Haha... I just love what they stand for! Their "Thrive" campaign is all about preventive maintenance, which is super smart for a health care company. But I just think they are so smart in taking this marketing stand!

The one that stood out to me recently was about Flabby Brains! Anyone who knows me knows I have the worst memory EVER! I swear I can't remember anything before I was 15 unless there are pictures then I kinda remember it because I have a picture. Some one could say do you remember when we were little and ... blah, blah... Nope, I most likely will not remember it. Sometimes I don't even remember what happened a few years ago... So this ad really made me think and pay attention to it when I heard it on the radio! I am for sure going to try some of these out! (Plus I like that lady's voice that does their commercials)

Kaiser tells us that to help exercise your brain to try some of these as "Mental Gymnastics":

  • Pick up a crossword puzzle
  • Learn a new song on the piano
  • Eat your cereal with a spoon in the other hand
  • Find a new route to work
  • Recite the alphabet backwards
  • Grocery shop starting at the other end of the store
Anything you do out of your routine, challenges you! This is for better memory, clearer thinking and sharper focus which is everything that I need! They say that 10 minutes of these routine breakers a day can improve your brains speed, retention and memory and can even help prevent All-timers disease.

They are things that are so easy but I never really think about doing!! Grocery shop starting at the other end of the store?!? Never thought about that. I'm such a creature of habit that I just start at one end and go. But hey if there is any chance that I can get my brain to do some "Mental Gymnastics" I think I'll try! With all the Cancer in my family I need to make sure I am doing what I can to help myself stay healthy! A little preventative maintenance never hurt anyone! Thank you for the pick me up Kaiser Permanente!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Weekend fun!

This weekend brought some CRAZY heat to Cali! Before it got to hot on Saturday, we headed out for a bike ride down the river bed! We've had our bikes for 2 weeks and I can honestly say we are hooked! I LOVE to go out for a ride, and we have been doing so well. On Saturday we did 6 miles in the morning before it was even 10am. It's so easy to do! Once we start we don't really want to stop, but even if we just go 3 miles, we have to turn around and come back and it adds up really fast! I kinda feel like I'm addicted to bike ridding now! I want to go every single day, even if it's just for 2 or 3 miles, but nothing less! I'find myself saying that I'm going to add a few more miles every week! I think I'm going to start keeping track of it so I know how much we are doing! We have this cool little app on our phones that shows how long we've gone and how many miles, so it's pretty easy to track! It's doing wonders for me! I find I'm in such a better mood all around on the days we ride, Alana loves it and it makes her happy! We are out as a family and family time is so important these days with all that is going on!

Sunday daddy had to work so Alana and I hung out at the house for awhile just relaxing!

Then daddy came home and we decided instead of turning on the AC we would fill up Alana's pool she got from Martha for her birthday! That pool has been so helpful this summer!
You talkin to me?

She's my camera ham! Isn't she just so fricken cute??

Cheese with Daddy!

The poor dogs were so hot, we pulled them in the little pool to cool off! Alana's BFF's!

She loves the water and it's the best way to cool off in this crazy 110 degree weather!

Alana and I had some fun with Hand and foot prints! She loves to see them so I made sure to take some pictures this time!

Can we say bigfoot?? It only looks that big because her's is so tiny!

Thursday, September 23, 2010


My Roses has been super bike happy! She LOVES to ride and I love that she loves to be out of the house on trails riding!! This is her bike in the back yard that she is learning to pedal!

I can't put into words how much this girl loves her helmet!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Tour de France

Back in June, for our Anniversary Victor got me the most beautiful bike ever!! I am so in love with it! It's a Hybrid bike. A mix between a Beach Cruiser and a 7 speed bike! Which makes cruising SO MUCH easier when trying to pedal up hill or long distances.

I've been riding my amazing beautiful bike all by my lonesome for the 2 months. This weekend it was daddy's turn to get his new bike! We found an awesome very similarly Hybrid for him! We went back and fourth about what to do with Alana. Should we get one of those covered little carts to pull her in behind us or the seat to hook onto the back of the bike? I'm not sure she'd be comfortable any other way then behind her daddy! So we decided on the seat. Victor spent some time putting it securely on his bike, leaving no screw untightened! I was a little unsure of Alana and how she'd react to HAVING to wear a helmet. She doesn't like hats very much, but we took her to the store to pick out her own helmet. She had a field day! She picked the one with stars and fairies on it that lite up! Once she knew she could ride the bike with daddy only if she wore the helmet, she didn't want to take it off!

Our first ride out with Alana was Friday evening. We went around the neighborhood a few times and then came back. Alana enjoyed every second of it! (who wouldn't want to be pulled around like that?)

We headed back to the house and said we were done for the evening and we'd go again tomorrow. Alana cried and screamed and would not let me unbuckle her from the bike! She was so mad and wanted to go more. We negotiated with her, took her out one more time and then put it away until tomorrow. (Who knew she'd be so hooked?)
Saturday morning we got up and headed out for a longer bike ride. There is an entrance to the Riverbed close to our house. So we jumped on there and kept riding! It was so nice and relaxing! We ended up at Auntie Crystal's house for a visit, then headed back home. Alana slept most of the time on the way back. Believe it or not, she was that comfortable to fall asleep for the ride. We rode about 5 miles that day, 2 the previous and then 3-4 on Sunday! Can we say pounds melting off soon if we keep up with that? 10 miles in one weekend? Who knew we had it in us? Our new love for bike riding!!! Well it's an old love of ours, newly found I guess you could say! I can't wait for Alana to be old enough to ride her bike with us! LOVIN these family days, they are really priceless!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I Loved her first

I loved her first was the song that my dad and I danced to at my wedding! I'd been searching for a song that would be meaningful. I asked him what song he wanted... One day my mom called me a few weeks before the wedding to tell me she'd heard a new song on the radio by Heartland. It made her think of me. I asked my mom if she'd dance with me at my wedding to that song. She said that was the the honor of my father, not my mother, so I said ok and danced with my dad to it. It was such a great song, it made everyone cry. My dad did the most amazing job of dancing with me! He, out of no where, would spin me around. It was really a great father daughter dance. But as I listened to it on the radio today on my way home it made me think of all the great moments in my life that I've had with my mom. I had a friend or two remind me when I'm down about the great times my mom and I have shared. About how close we were and how damn lucky I was to have that kind of relationship with her. I agree.
It's so hard sometimes to think about the good times, when I get so sad the sadness can just take me over sometimes. But it's Thursday night and instead of going to bed tonight thinking about how my mom died one year ago when I wake up... Here are a few stories that make me happy. (In no particular order).
Several years ago my mom and I found a new hobby for Saturday's. Yep, the paint shop! We went to one by my house in Irvine (Color me mine) for the first time and had so much fun! My mom's neighbor told her about a paint shop in Norco and that is where we'd be spending EVERY Saturday for years to come! We went in, made friends with the owners, and all the regular customers. That is where we planted our butts for the next 5 years! My mom was there religiously every single Saturday when they opened to when they kicked her out! I joined her almost every Saturday for the first few years. It was the best experience ever! We painted, we talked, we bonded more then ever. We ate Miguels every week. It was always the same. Sitting next to her at the paint shop, talking, watching her sponge paint. For years she would give me "presents" that she made for me. Today I treasure them! As I'm sure any of you who got those gifts from her do with them now!

The second Victor proposed to me I started to plan our wedding day! It was a day that I'd been looking forward to my whole life! The days leading up to my wedding my mom was so excited, she would hug me every time she saw me and tell me how excited happy and proud she was of me. On my wedding day my mom spent most of the time upstairs with me. Smiling, holding my hand, loving every minute of the day!
I told myself I was going to keep it together and not cry. I did so well. I stood outside of the door as I heard my music being played and the doors opened. I kept it together... I turned the corner of the bench and saw my mom at the front, standing there with her hands at her face with a tissue crying like a mother should cry at her daughters wedding. That's when I started to cry. I really kept it together the whole time until I saw her. Those tears to me were the best tears a daughter could ever feel! Months before the wedding I had asked my mom if she and my dad would walk me down the isle. I wanted my best friend by my side. She turned me down. She said it was the honor of my father, and plus she wanted to be at the front to see my walk down the isle. So I know those tears were the best tears EVER!

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, like most new moms, signed up for the babycenter online emails that emailed me weekly and told me how my baby was growing and what fruit it was the size of. My mom asked every week for me to forward her those emails. She wanted to know every single week how her grandbaby was growing! The day I was in the hospital having Alana Rose, I told my sister and my mom to not hurry down, it would be hours until the baby came.... The second they broke my water, and I was in so much pain, I just wanted my mommy. She couldn't have gotten there fast enough. The second I heard her voice come through that door I balled like a baby. I was so relived that she was there! I wanted Victor and my mom in the room with me! I knew everything was going to be ok once I heard her voice. After HOURS and HOURS, I went in for a C-section. When I was done I felt like I was in Recovery FOREVER!! Victor came in to see me and I sent him back to be with his new baby. After being able to peak through the glass and see Alana, my mom searched the hospital for my nurse so she could find where they were hiding me. I had been asking for my mom and so my mom finally found the nurse and they brought her back to me. It was so nice to see my mom right out of surgery. I couldn't have done any of it without her!

For 2 weeks I tried and tried to breastfeed Alana. Man, that was the 2 hardest weeks of my life. I cried and cried, telling myself I could do it. I was going to feel like a failure as a mother if I had to stop. When I did stop I was so down on myself. My mom sent me this email that I haven't really shared with anyone before, but I keep it always because it's probably the best email she's ever sent me:

I just want you to know how proud I am of you. I know that you are feeling bad about having problems with breast feeding but I have to tell you something.For 18 months you have been running in high gear, getting ready for the wedding,honeymoon, trying to get pregnant. You have done everything right, you ate right, took your vitamins, took good care of yourself & where blessed with a nice big healthy baby. You have given her the best possible start that you can,even if you just breast feed her for a week you have given her a boost.

I love you

The evening before my mom died, I had a few hours of just me and her in the hospital room to ourselves. I hopped in bed with her, laid there and held her hand. I told her I loved her. I told her that it would be ok if she went, I didn't want her to be in pain. Every other day of my life I told her she needed to fight this. That day I told her it would be ok if she needs to go. Her hand in mine, holding it tight. Squeezing my hand I didn't know what she meant, I thought maybe she needed ice or something. But I know it was just her way of telling me she loved me and that it was time to go. And hours later she did. She was no longer in pain. She left us and went home to be with God, Chanlder, Grandma, Roseanne, Michael. All we had lost in the previous years. I miss her every single day and will probably for the rest of my life, but I really do have the best memories of her. Of us. And I will make sure those memories live on with our family forever! Thank you to my friends and family for all of the support. And for reminding me how lucky I am to have had a mom that was my best friend in the world! As I ALWAYS used to tell her, I hope I am a mother to my children some day like she has always been to me!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

This week in words

So this is a week I've been dreading alllllllll year long. It's the week my mom died one entire year ago. One year ago on Monday this was my blog. I was hopeful my mom was going to get better and we'd be taking her home by the end of the week. It makes me sad and happy all at the same time to re-read that blog. I was hopeful and that reminds me of being happy, but then when I realize that I knew nothing about what was going on, and had no idea how wrong I was, it makes me sad. That week was a special week that I spent by my moms side. I barely left her. By Wednesday this was my blog. Came out of left field right? I felt like it too. Who knew that would be the worst week of my life? I guess God did, he just didn't fill me in on the details. Might have been a good decision on his part, not sure I could have handled that news. That Wednesday at the hospital was a crazy whirl wind. Making those calls having to tell people to come down and say goodbye. I'm not sure I was really me. It was for sure one of those out of body experiences. I was there, but somewhere else all at the same time. Man, I was so crazy strong that week. Where did that person go?

So I've been dreading posting this week because it's all the same old stuff I've posted about for the last year and I'm tired of saying it all, and I'm sure you're tired of hearing (reading) it. Yes it has ONLY been one year, or it will be on Friday at least... and as much as you can tell me it's ONLY been a year, it feels like it's been at least 6 years since I saw her last or hugged her last. So it almost feels like I should stop talking about it, or Geez, shouldn't I be over this part of it already? I guess everyone deals with the death of their mom in different ways, I'm not sure I've really been "dealing" with it though. I kind of ignore it and push it aside. I try not to cry about it. Or sometimes I hide when I cry about it. I could burst out crying at any time of the day, night, work, home, in the middle of a conversation. I guess I try to hold it in as much as I can so that I don't upset anyone else. I can't even drive out to Corona without crying at least once on the way out there. It's just my dumb way of dealing, or should I say not dealing with it. There have been a few nights (well just one I guess) that I got really hammered soon after my mom died and had it out with God. Poor Crystal was there to witness that. But I did feel better afterwards! Thank you Crystal for being there to sit and listen to my craziness. That's what best friends are for!

So this week has been looooong already. Trying to keep up with all that's going on, trying not to breakdown every time I think about this week. It's a week that will pass and on Friday it will just be another day without her right? I've been debating if I should take Friday off to lay at home and cry all day or come to work, suck it up and go on with my day. So far I've only broken down and cried at work twice this week... That's not to bad right? On Monday there was buzz around the office while I was eating lunch about some pretty flowers up front. Someone said they were for me, I thought to myself "why in the world would I be getting flowers?". So I went up front to see and my cousin Chris and the Domene family had sent me just a cute little arrangement of flowers to tell me that I was loved! It of course made me cry because I was happy that I have a great family. But I was also sad because of what they "really" stood for.

They made me smile every time I looked at them, but then someone would come over and ask what's the occasion... so that's not so fun! But I love them and was so happy to get them! Thank you Domene family! You guys have always been there to support me and my whole family and I really do appreciate that!

So with that I will leave on a happy flowers note. Greatful to have the friends and family that I do. Sad about this week, but it's one year down, the rest of my life to go. Uh.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Birthday Celebration

This weekend we celebrated Ellie's 5th birthday and Lexie's 2nd birthday at a really cool water park for kids in Corona! Great turn out, lots of friends and family! Happy birthday to my two beautiful niece's! Love you girls!

Birthday girl! 2 years old!!!

Alana and Lexie

Jan, Grady and my pops

Brian and Julie

Kali and her grandpa

The birthday girls and their papa

The Domene Family

Me and my sester

Birthday girl and Aunt Julie


Alana, Madison and Emily! She loves these girls!

Hailey and Lexie

Jacquie's boy, taking care of BBQ-ing

The girls got so many gifts, they are very lucky to have such nice friends and family.

Melissa and her boy

Emily, Alana and Kali

Me and Kali

Chrissy and Kali

My sweet family!

Happy Birthday girls!

Trying to get all 6 cousins at the same time to sit, smile, look at the camera... not very easy!

Alana was having so much fun running around the water park

Emily and Kali

Jacquie and Amanda

We are alway so happy to have our other family there! My mom's best friend Debbie and her daughter Jenna always come out and it means a lot to us!

Jacquie and Donovan

Friday, September 10, 2010

Hasta la vista baby

Our friend Chris has decided to leave us and move back to Florida. We are very, very sad to see him go. We hosted a party this weekend to wish him well!

We will miss you so much Chris! You have been such a great friend to us!

Of course we Rockband'ed for his last night! No one will EVER sing "boys" as well as you Chris. I will for sure miss you at our Rockband nights! (Victor might not miss you as much, he'll get the Mic back at least)

Me and Chris

Chris, Xochitl and Jennifer

Me and my hubby

Something in the way she knows,
And all I have to do is think of her.
Something in the things she shows me.
I don't want to leave her now.You know I believe and how.

We will come visit you in FL when we make it to Disneyworld!!! Love you, have a great trip!