Falling off the Wagon

I swear this is how I've felt lately!

I know I'm allowed to fall off the Wagon but at least I realized I was falling and picked myself back up! In April I was so proud to say I had lost 19 pounds on the Loco Loser Program at work. Since April it has been so hard to continue on with my running and losing weight. June came with Alana's birthday, Relay for Life, you name it, June and July brought it on! I was so tired and had something going on every single day of the week and something even bigger every weekend... I just didn't have time or energy to get my butt up at 5:30am to run. And lets be honest if I don't get up to do it at 5:30am, I'm probably NOT going to do it at all. Then Mid July I twisted my ankle pretty bad and yet just another excuse to not go out and run. At least it was a legit excuse this time.... Finally my ankle was feeling better and I realized that I haven't weighed myself in awhile and that scared me... then I got to the point where I was sooooo worried to weigh myself that I didn't even want to when I remembered to do it. I knew I had gained some of those 19 pounds back, but I was to scared to find out how many of them... At this point I knew it was going to be at least 15 pounds I put back on. It felt like 100 pounds... I was talking to a co-worker who won the Loco Loser twice and lost 113 pounds, seriously kicked everyones butt both times, be he is awesome!!! Anyway, I was telling him how horrible I was doing and how I felt like I at least gained 15 of those 19 back, he told me I might be surprised and that I should check anyway.... I still was very unsure. I haven't ran in FOREVER. It's amazing what not working out does to you - I am tired, have no energy, feel kinda down about myself, clothes were not hanging off of me anymore, all I wanted to do was eat, and eat everything in site. What the hell!

My friend Rosemarie emailed me about being on her team in a Race for the Cure in late September and I'm signing Victor and I up to do a 5k. Which means I need to get my butt into hear to run a 5k....So last night I put out my exercise clothes and set my alarm for bright and early and got my ass up and ran!!! Ahhhh..... Dragging my butt out of bed at 5:20am is NOT easy. But once my feet hit the pavement and my buds were in my ears, with a little GreenDay in my step, I took off! The morning air in my lungs felt so amazing. I'm always on a super high after I run! My neighborhood around once is a mile and I normally do 2. A 5k is 3.1 so I will build up to 3 in the next month and rock out a 5k pretty easily I'm sure.

I'm really blogging to keep my ass on track! I'm signing up for a 5k to keep my ass on track! To have a goal, to make me get up out of bed to run because I need to. Yes I want to, but that's not always enough to make me get up! 3 days a week - 2 miles building to 3 or hell even maybe 4 miles. I need the high in my life, I need to continue to lose more weight. I want to be the runner I know I am and that I LOVE doing!! I'm back on the wagon people!

So after running this morning the first thing I did when I came into work was to step on that scale. He was right. I gained 4 pounds from my original 19. I'm down 15 pounds still...how is it that those 4 pounds felt like 15 when I gained them back! Madness. It's never as bad as I think it is. At least I realized and am doing something about it! No more gaining!!! Hold myself accountable. Blog about it, put it out there! Feel better! Have some time to myself!