FAT

You know how you see yourself in a picture and you think, dang, is that how I really look!?!?!? I see myself so much thiner than I really am. Last week, we took a family trip to the Safari Park in San Diego. It was really hot out and I was in shorts and a tank top. Victor took this picture of me sitting while having a cocktail and this cute little place we found. I almost had a heart attack when I saw this picture and others from the day. HOLY. Is that what I really look like!?!? Apparently it is.

I have been meaning to start running again, because honestly, that's when I've felt my best! I need to feel my best! Lately I have been so down about being fat, not feeling comfortable in my own body. That's not where I like to be. And I know, some of you (or maybe not) are thinking, you JUST had a baby. Give it some time. Dude, that baby I JUST had is going to be 6 months soon! That was an excuse I could tell myself for a little while but not anymore! I did tell myself that it took 9 months to put on that weight, I at least have to give myself 9 months to take it off right? That's only fair! Well it's about 6 months now and if I don't start, I won't make it to my goal of 9 months. It's not only for my health but for my piece of mind, sanity and overall confidence! My confidence has always been pretty low but it feels like it's at an all time low these days.

I woke up this week and decided I was going to do something about it... AGAIN. I have done this before and kicked some butt when I put my mind towards it. So here I am blogging about it to hold myself accountable! We moved to Irvine a few weeks ago and there are a ton of trails to run! I am in a great place right now because I don't have to take the kids in the morning which means I can get up early and go run, be back, shower and off to work by my normal time. Done! I ran on Tuesday and then again today! I always say this, but I forget how awesome it feels to run. To get out of my head. To feel my feet hitting the pavement, pushing my body forward! Time to myself with my music blazing in my ears. The songs I love, the songs that push me to go faster. The mornings are amazing to watch just in itself, but knowing that I am out running and feeling great, it's something I can't describe!

Not only am I running but I started to keep track of everything I put in my mouth, EVERYTHING! I started to use this really cool app called My Fitness Pal. It allows me to log everything and even has all the calories and everything already programed into it so it's super easy to use! It even has a portion that you can keep track of your exercise and drinking water! It tells you how many calories you should have and subtracts every time you log in something. It's seriously great!

Another thing that motivates me is seeing everyone in my family, super large and over weight. Not just a little overweight and not just a few people. We are talking almost every single person that I am related to. With the exception of a few cousins... everyone in my family is very FAT! I can count 6 people in my family who has had a surgery to help them lose weight. It really hasn't helped any of them! I don't want to be that 400 pound family member that has to have surgery because I can't do it myself. That is a really lame excuse if you ask me and from the looks of it, it really doesn't work well.

So here I am, 4 days into eating healthy and running... I am feeling really good about it. I am keeping track of my weight and weighing in once a week. Tomorrow is my first weigh in and I know I had to have lost something! Here's to a healthier life style for me! This will be the LAST picture I am ever that heavy in!