He didn't have to be

When I first met Victor, his family was one of the things that attracted him to me. He loved hanging out with his family and they were amazing. Each one of them had their own strengths and I knew from that moment on that I would love them each with all of my heart and no matter what, they would always be family to me. 17 years later that holds true. 

When Victor was very young his mom left his dad. She ended up marrying Oscar, who had been a friend. Oscar stepped into Victors life as his dad when he was around 4 years old. One of the very first things Victor told me about Oscar was that he was the dad and the Grandpa that he didn't have to be. Oscar had no blood relation to any of them, but chose to be the Father figure that they needed. Brad Paisley sings a song called "He didn't have to be" and Victor said that song always reminded him of Oscar. 

In my life of knowing Oscar, he has always been a man of little words. Not because he didn't speak English well, but because he just didn't have a whole lot to say. He would be the first one to give me a hug when I came into the house. His hugs were big, warm and always very welcoming, like he wanted to hug me. He would sit on the couch and watch TV, he loved Soccer and old Westerns. Anything black and white or John Wayne. 

He was a grandbaby lover! This man would take any baby out of your arms and love on them. He was the secret behind "Grandma's house" and loving on all of his grandkids. With both of my kids, we relied on Grandma and Grandpa a lot to help. Although I think Grandma always got all of the credit for "watching" the kids, Grandpa was always the one behind the scenes making sure everything was taken care of. 

Oscar would sit at the kitchen table and sort through beans. Alana would love to sit there and help him as well. She learned how to pick out the bad beans before they went into the pot to be cooked.  

Oscar was always the person to ask about my family. How is your mom, or how is your dad doing? Is he healthy? Always wishing the best for them. 

Oscar would sit and chat with the neighbor who spoke very little English as well. He was Vietnamese. Somehow the two of them spoke to each other in some random ways that I will never understand. Lots of random hand gestures and grunting I can imagine. 

Oscar was the person that I would call when Victor needed to be straightened out and he would come over and talk to him. He always tried to give Victor good advice and tell him to take care of his family. Because after all, that's what Oscar always did! 

Oscar always had some random stuff going on with his health but for the most part seemed pretty healthy. Late 2019 he started to get sick. They talked about his pancreas, Stage 4 Liver Cancer, a tumor in his esophagus. There were so many things that were said about what was going on with him, to this day I'm not even sure what he died of. 

The last week of Oscars life he was home in his bed with lots of love and family by his side. Jack got to sit and read to him while he held his hand. It was peaceful and also very sad to have to say goodbye. I did get to thank him for all that he has done for my family but most importantly for the role he played in Victors life and being the dad and grandpa that he didn't have to be.

Walking into Victor's parents house these days is not the same without the big hugs from Oscar or being able to sit next to him on the couch watching Soccer or the Dodgers play. He was the man of little words but such a big heart and I am so thankful that he was part of my life. RIP Oscar Noriega 1/24/2020.