Uncle Greg

I keep telling myself that I need to blog again. But in all honestly I’ve only been using it for Milestones in our life, things I want to remember forever, things I want to just get off my chest or tell the story of. As I always say, my memory is so bad that it’s nice to be able to post on my blog and then years later remember how I was feeling or what I was doing. It’s my memories on paper. Online. For the entire world to read, or probably the only 3 people in the world that even know I might still post here. (Hi there, thanks for reading this JQ, Crys or Sarah) haha.

Life is crazy and gets away from you, goes so fast sometimes I forget to stop and breath. More so lately. But I think it’s important to stop and have time to reflect on things that have happened. It puts life into a different perspective and sometimes I really need that. You might not get through this post without crying, because it’s sad, but it helps me get my feelings out.

When I moved out of my parents’ house at 18 I was ready for the world. Hit the ground running. I had a full time job at Disneyland and was moving into a big house in Anaheim that I shared with my boyfriend at the time and 3 other roommates. It was a very interesting experience for me. No details needed to be in writing for the world to see about that adventure! When that house didn’t work out for me because of my relationship at the time, I thought I was going to be forced to move back home to Corona. The drive from Corona to Anaheim sucked and I really just did NOT want to “move back in with my parents” for obvious reasons!

My Aunt Jan and Uncle Greg lived in Anaheim and my two older cousins moved out of the house years ago, so they had plenty of room for me. They offered a room to stay in which was really nice of them. Growing up I wasn’t very close to them, but apparently when I was very little and before I was born the rest of my older family was very close to them, they vacationed every year together and always hung out. Me moving in with them was a nice chance to do some bonding with them. During the year I lived there I was very involved in their catering business they owned. We spent many long hours on the weekends together doing weddings and had LOTS of bonding time! They were by far my favorite Aunt and Uncle in the family. Eventually I moved back out on my own, but stayed pretty connected to the catering business and pretty close to them.

Years later when my living arrangements changes yet again, my Aunt and Uncle offered for me to come stay with them again. They were always so willing to help others and be so selfless. The house had just been remodeled (due to a flood) so everything was new and nice and it just felt really good to be back home with them! One big life change for me while living with them this time was being able to see their love for each other. My Aunt and Uncle were high school sweethearts, got married at 18, were well into their 50’s and still loved each other. That was something that was lost on me. Sure, my parents were still together, but never in my life had really ever shown to each other love in front of me. They never held hands, they never were very affectionate towards each other. I’m sure they “loved” each other, but it was just never really shown. Living with Aunt Jan and Uncle Greg, I would see them sit on the couch next to each other and hold hands. They would look at each other and give a kiss, it’s like they enjoyed being in each other’s company. My Aunt would reach over and scratch my Uncle’s back or just touch each other, and I thought it was such a sweet thing. Now, they were not perfect by any means and didn’t have a perfect marriage, but they did love each other unconditionally, which I really enjoyed seeing!

My Aunt Jan was a big wig in the PTA so she was traveling a lot which would leave a lot of time for my Uncle Greg and I to hang out at home. Our nights would be filled with watching some kind of Sci-fi movie that he had seen a billion times before and eating sourdough frozen pizza! They had bought a hot tub for the backyard so we spent a lot of nights just relaxing out there talking non-sense… or just saying nothing at all. My uncle worked for Mac, so he always had the latest gadgets and computers. He taught me how to use a Mac and how to download LOTS of music and burn CD’s. Lots and lots of CD’s. Most of which I still have today. My uncle would always eat pieces of Sharp Cheddar cheese and drink Crystal light fruit punch. If there was nothing else in the fridge you could always count on there being those two things. His bad and yummy habits became mine in no time! He would heat up a tortilla in the microwave, take it out and slather it in butter. It was the best! Uncle Greg was known to fall asleep while driving, so after a long night of catering a wedding when we were all very tired, Aunt Jan always instructed me to drive home with him to keep him awake. He would never let me drive, so I found myself asking him random questions just so he would talk to me and stay awake for the drive home. I always said he “drove with the force”. His eyes would close and he would still just be chugging right along! It’s a wonder that he never got into a car accident. The force was strong with that one.

My room at the time was filled with my Uncle’s Sci-fi book collection. We aren’t talking just a few books, but hundreds of them on shelves filling the walls of the room. I found myself picking through them, reading the backs, trying to find a good book that I could really get into. That hardly ever happened, because we definitely had different taste when it came to books! He owned all these books, but weirdly enough, I never saw him reading any of them. In talking to my cousin recently she explained to me that he would only read in the bathroom! Which explains why I never saw him reading, but there were always a stack of books on the back of the toilet that I never even thought twice about!

One of my favorites things I remember living there was getting to sit and watch movies with my Uncle Greg that I would have never picked out to watch for myself. The Mummy was one that I watched over and over again with him. He introduced me to a lot of movies and shows that he loved. Uncle Greg was very much a father figure to me in so many ways. While I lived with them a second time, I was going through a lot emotionally in my relationships and he was always there to comfort me, give me some random advice or just to knock on my door and check in with me to make sure I was ok and offer me a snack or to come watch a movie with him. He always made me feel at home and always made me feel like his daughter!

He was a man of little words most of the time. Unless you got him talking about a movie he had seen or some kind of technology he loved. He always had a camera in his hand as long as I can remember. Every family wedding, every event, he was always the one behind the camera taking pictures. He would burn them onto a CD and have them to you before any professional photographer would! His pictures are some of my favorites from my very own wedding! Honestly I would say that most of our family events, birthday parties, showers, anything big was captured on film because of him! Of course that means he is not in most of the pictures, but thank God for his love of taking them!

When Aunt Jan passed away a few years ago I think I was more sad for my Uncle than anything else. His heart was broken, his one true love since high school was now gone. It was so heart breaking to think about. I think my cousins wished that he would at some point find another companion or someone to keep him company, but I know deep down he didn’t want that. He missed my Aunt Jan.

All this being said, I guess I never really got to the point of this post. On December 23^rd my Uncle Greg passed away and it’s been so very sad for me. And for everyone. He was just such a loving, caring guy who loved everyone and would give you the shirt off his back. Over a year ago Uncle Greg was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It wasn’t something that I could tell was affecting him right away, but month after month you could see the tremors and other things start to take over. Every time I saw him, every few months you would tell he was getting skinnier and didn’t look as well as he did the time before. He was still driving, still getting around pretty well, but the muscles in his body, specifically his feet were deteriorating. Over the summer on the 4^th of July, we were all sitting out by the pool enjoying the day and as he stepped right by me, I watched his feet not make it down a tiny step in the yard and in slow motion he went down face first in the pool in front of me. I jumped up and pulled him out of the water, it was very scary to see. From then on for me personally, every time he would walk by me I worried about him. Every time I got a call from Chrissy I was always expecting the worse. He should have been using a cane or something to help steady himself, but you know how most men are… he was way too stubborn to realize and accept that he needed some kind of help. About a month before he passed away he took a pretty big fall in the backyard where he feel on his hands, fractured the tip of his nose (which cause a LOT of bleeding) and he couldn’t get up. That was a night stay in the hospital, lots of bruising and more people being worried about him. 

Dec 22^nd he came to our house to celebrate Christmas with us. My Aunt Toni, Uncle Alan, and Chrissy, Kali and Uncle Greg always buy for each other, but not everyone in the family does, so we try to have our own little gathering so we can exchange presents and spend some time together. That evening Uncle Greg seemed really tired and pretty lethargic in general. He was very quiet and feel asleep on the couch (which was not abnormal). While we sat around at the table eating and chatting he would chime in every once in a while but he was always good at just listening to the conversation and smiling. When we got up from the table he needed help putting on his jacket, he said he was cold. I was happy he even asked for help, but I gladly am always there to help him! He was always just a warm personality and a good feeling. I got to say goodbye to him twice that night. Once, he thought he was leaving, but did not and the second time when he was really leaving. When he was helped up from the couch he gave me the biggest hug and said he loved me. I love you too Uncle Greg I said as I hugged him back. We thanked him for the gifts, the kids gave him hugs and off they went out the door. Little did I know those were going to be the last words I heard him speak. 

I feel very blessed to have had him in my life and how close we got over the years. He always treated my kids like they were his grandkids. They called him Grandpa Greg just like his own and he always had a hug and kiss for them. He made it a point to come to every birthday party and every Holiday that we had, he was such a quiet "in the background" kinda guy, and I miss that so much! Even last month he sat down to explain to me how much I mean to him and how he would do anything for us, just like I was his daughter. That man always had such sweet things to say and a heart of gold. 

I am grateful to stay so close to his family. My cousin Chrissy is like a sister to me and her daughter is my God Daughter! I am thankful for them in my life and happy they will always be a constant reminder of Uncle Greg in our lives! Of course nothing feels real yet. Even being at his house over the last few weeks doesn't feel real. Over the weekend I was helping Chrissy clean up, organize and pack Uncle Greg's room and it was just a very sad feeling. Sad, knowing I won't get his big hugs anymore or sit and be able to watch a movie with him. Sad he was gone way too young. But so happy he is reunited with his love. Happy my mom and Aunt Jan get to celebrate his life with him. Happy that he no longer is a worry to anyone who might watch him walk or just worry about him and his health in general. He was so loved by anyone who ever had the pleasure of getting to know. Rest in Peace dear Uncle Greg, so glad I was able to hug and kiss you and tell you I love you hours before you passed. Give my two favorites ladies a hug from me.