50/50

Being in my 19th week today means I am half way through my pregnancy! Normally at 20 you would count that as half way but knowing I will be delivering at 38 or 39 weeks means I'm half way there now! I am feeling pretty good for the most part. I haven't gained much weight, but my belly is getting big for sure!! I'm under tons of stress with my stupid medical insurance. But I'm hoping to get through that and stop stressing about it. I'm really trying to be thankful that I have insurance, but at this point I would rather not so I could go get on some state insurance that wouldn't cost me nearly as much! That out of the way everything is going pretty smoothly now!
I went back to the OBGYN I had when I was pregnant with Alana and that was the best move for me! I remember how much I like him!
My patience with kids these last few weeks is horrible. Alana is one of the best kids ever and I am still not being as patient with her as I'd like to be. I teach 2 and 3 year olds at church on Sunday's and my patience has for sure left the building there. Having 8 toddlers to deal with even if just for an hour isn't as fun as it was! Soon enough I'll take a break from that as well. I have to remember I'm pregnant and just get irritated pretty easily and try to keep myself in check!
Maternity clothes suck at this point. I try to pick up a few things here and there when I see a good deal, but I really hate spending money on clothes I'll only wear for a few months!! Having to get dressed for work everyday sucks these days and will only get worse before it gets better. But trying to deal with it for now!

My good news this week?!? Hubby had a good job offer so he'll be going back to work! YAY!
Ultrasound on Thursday to find out the sex of the baby! Some think I'm crazy, but I thought I'd do something fun this time with it! We are going to have the doctor write down on a paper, boy or girl and then seal it in an envelope so we don't know. I'm going to take that envelope to the bakery by our house and they are going to bake Victor a Birthday cake for our dinner Friday night. The inside of the cake will either be pink or blue! But none of us will know until we cut into it! We are having our families and some friends over to celebrate with us! It's part Victor's birthday/new job celebration/gender reveal party, all in one! Pictures coming soon!

Team Boy, wear your blue, team girl, wear your pink!

Cravings

I used to not be a big sweets person until I became pregnant with Alana. That's when it all went downhill. I used to be able to bake my heart out and not touch anything I would bake! With Alana I craved Ice Cream and my cake cookies all the time!

This pregnancy has been ok, but lately in the last month I've been craving so many different things it's weird. Last night for a 9pm snack I took out some thin mints that I have tucked away and put some peanut butter on them and they were just the perfect snack for me!

Strawberry Milk is number one on my list until today when I really wanted some Red Vines. But I wanted the soft ones, and the gas station by work only had a package of them and they were not soft. Some how they worked for breakfast anyway! (of course I did have some grits after my red vines). Talk about being pregnant...

I am still trying to eat healthy and some what normal, but when I get a craving that's all I can think about until I have it! Strawberries seem to be on the top of my list. I must be having a really sweet baby!

Another weird one for me has been McDonalds french fries! I want them often, although I only limit myself to once every few weeks. Never in my life have I been a big fan of McDonalds in general but lately their fries have made me happy :)

2012 Concerts

I love going to concerts and so far this year we've had a good line up of concerts!

In May we saw Coldplay which was the best show EVER!!

August is a big month of concerts including: Sublime with Rome

Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw

And we even snuck in an Aerosmith concert... which was pretty disappointing might I add. Steven Tyler is getting old and needed to take lots of breaks apparently. The cool thing about it was that Johnny Depp came out and played a song or two with them which was really awesome to see!

Next month: Boyz II Men, Babyface AND En Vouge ALL IN ONE concert! So amazing!! I can't wait! I've never seen Boyz II Men and I just want to hear my favorites live!!! Happy Summer Concerts!!

Flashback Friday

This picture was 3 days after my baby girl was born. After reading my friend Sarah's blog and her birth story it made me think so much about the day Alana was born and how crazy and unreal it was. Sarah wrote such an amazing story about her 2nd daughter's birth, it made me even that much more excited for our baby #2. But for now I will just re-read about Alana and love how awesome and crazy that experience was and how awesome she is and continues to be. It helps me with the little patience I have with her right now.

17 weeks

Today I am 17 weeks pregnant! We've entered a big ol ugly turnip stage.

Once I hit 14 weeks my sickness went away, yes, just like it was supposed to. CRAZY how that works!! Don't get me wrong, I'm still tired and am out of breath walking up stairs but having the sickness go away has been amazing! The day I did dishes and laundry on the same day and felt fine afterwards was a big milestone for me! Man I am so lucky to have Victor home right now, as stressful as it is, it's been just as amazing. Having the house clean and not having to do dishes for almost 3 months while I felt so horrible was a Godsend! Thank you hubby for carrying me through my first 3 months of craziness!

The day before I hit 16 weeks I was sitting at my desk talking to a co-working and all of a sudden I felt something in my stomach! I had to stop talking and just wait for it. It was just as amazing as the first time I felt Alana! I forget how cool it feels to feel a baby inside of you! Weird, crazy but amazing!! Since then I've felt the baby a few more times. I have to love this and enjoy it while it's so small and tiny. I do remember how it feels to have a stomach FULL of kicking me in the ribs! That will be here before I know it!

Emotions have been crazy lately. Stress has been the same craziness. This pregnancy is 100% different than it was with Alana so I'm trying to not kill anyone, run anyone over, or be too mean to anyone because I'm pregnant. Trying to keep it all in check! Putting all of my emotions and stress into God's hands and all will be just fine! In just a few short weeks I'll be half way through my pregnancy! YAY!!

Beauty in my garden

If you recall a few years ago when we moved into our house, I was so excited about the beautiful Plumeria flowers that grow in our yard. They have always been my favorite flower! I had no idea what to do with them and honestly Alana and I only pick them to put one in our hair every now and then. They bloom so beautiful every year and I had yet to do a thing with them! A few weeks ago one of the girls from church let her daughter pick a bunch and she said she was going to make a lei. She never did, but it made me think maybe I could make one?

I came home one day and remembered it was my walking buddy's birthday, who is my neighbor. Alana and I decided that we were going to pick her some roses from our front yard and bring them over to her. Little did I know that when I got home the gardener would have trimmed them ALL OFF. We were bummed. Then Alana reminded me of the flowers in the back yard. My neighbor Sharon always says how much she loves our plumeria's so I decided it was the day I was going to make a lei! Alana helped me pick all of the flowers from the 3 different kinds and I took some thread and a sewing needle and stung them together! I was amazed at how EASY it was and it smelled amazing!! We took it over to Sharon and she loved it! She wore it all night and it stayed together, despite the tiny sewing thread it was strung with! I was so proud of my little beauties!!

That Saturday we were celebrating Donovan's birthday. A boy from Hawaii would really appreciate a Lei so I made one for him! He wore it that day at the beach and it was so beautiful and the smell of them are just unreal! They start to bloom in mid-June and go for a few months, come by and get some and make something fun, I have 5 trees and not nearly enough time on my hands to use them all!

Fun Friday afternoon!

Last Friday morning I'm working away at my desk and I get a call on my cell that I didn't recognize. I pick it up and it's the Director at the Preschool Alana goes to. After I realize who it is he tries saying something and it's hard to understand what he's saying. So I say, I'm sorry I can't understand you. He says, I'm sorry, I'm really nervous to tell you this. At that point, I'm thinking my daughter's dead or something crazy has happened and tell him that he better get to the point. Already I've picked up my purse and am heading out to my car. He finally spits out that Alana slammed her finger in the gate at school and he thinks I need to take her to the hospital. WHAT?!?! So as I run out the door to my car, I call Victor and tell him to meet me at the school. Again, he can't even understand me, I was in a panic. I had no idea how bad it was, but we've never taken Alana to the ER before so this was going to be a new experience for us!

I flew down to the school and got there faster than Victor (who is closer). Grabbed Alana, hugged her, put her in the car and drove to St. Joe's. The whole time she is screaming how badly her finger hurts. I was trying to hold back my tears but reached back and grabbed her other hand to hold and told her it was ok. The finger was bandaged up from the school so I couldn't even see how bad it was. I of course imagined her finger was hanging off or something.

We finally got to the hospital and Victor meet us there. The ER wasn't busy so they were able to take us back pretty fast. Knowing from the last 40 minutes that Alana wasn't going to let anyone near her finger, the staff decided to put her in what I call their straight jacket. It was no joke. It held her down from neck to toe with one arm out so they could look at it. She was laying on the table in the ER screaming her head off about being in it. I don't blame her. Screaming at Victor and I, please help me, mommy help me, I can't breathe. I knew she was ok but she sure didn't. I started balling my eyes out as I was trying to comfort her, I had to let Victor take over while I sat down. I was going to pass out and Victor knew it. I sat in the room and cried, it was horrible!!! Finally when they were done giving her a shot to numb it they let her out of it and we were able to calm her down. She was as happy as a clam at that point, she wasn't in pain anymore and she was out of that horrible straight jacket. She sat and watched Cartoons.


15 minutes later it was time for an Xray which was easy. Her finger nail had been ripped off and her fingertip was broken. Poor girl. Then they had to stitch up and bandage her finger. Here we go again, back into the straight jacket. I had to leave the room this time and walk as far down the hall as I could with the door closed I could still hear her screams. It was torture for her and for us. They stitched her finger up and then for some crazy reason stitched her finger nail back on, which still makes no sense to me. After all of the screaming, crying and begging to get out of that thing, it was finally done. We both (Alana and I) stopped crying and tried to pull ourselves together. My poor baby girl was so scared and in so much pain and there was nothing I could do to help, even though the doctor's were helping her, she couldn't see that.

Alana's finger one day later.


The next few days of changing her bandage were HELL! She wouldn't let us near it so not having a straight jacket at home, Victor and I pretty much had to flip coins to see who would hold her down and who would clean it and change it. Talk about added stress for all 3 of us. She didn't like us holding her down, but wouldn't let us touch it. We didn't like holding her down but we HAD to change it.
One day after it happened we were supposed to go to the beach for Ellie and Donovan's birthday. Icky beach water, sand and a brand new open wound was not sounding so great for us. But we managed to put a rubber glove on her hand and tape it up so no water would get in. She did a great job of keeping it at her chest the whole day and it stayed dry and clean. She was a total trooper! If I were here I would have crawled up in my moms lap and cried all day, but she went out and played in the sand with the girls and had a really fun day! We all needed the break.


Sunday and Monday were tough changing of the bandage days and then by Tuesday she just handed me her hand and let me change it. The only tears that were cried that day were my happy ones! Finally the stress of holding her down was lifted. Talk about dramatic... for her and for Victor and I. She told me, mom, I don't want you to hold me down... I told her I didn't want to hold her down either. I didn't like doing it. She agreed it was just easier for her to give me her hand!
She gets her stitches out on Friday and her finger is healing really well. No infection, her bruises are going away pretty fast. Thank God her little body heals really fast! I'm so happy that in 4 years this is the first trip to the ER. I'm sure her fingernail will grow back just fine and hopefully her poor little broken finger will heal straight and fast! One day at a time!!

Just Sayin...

For so many reason these last couple weeks, but even just in the year we've been going to North Orange Christian Church. It's full of really great people and I'm so happy to have gotten the chance to get close to some of them! They are very supportive in so many ways!

90 Years

On Saturday we celebrated my Grandpa's 90th birthday! This is by far the oldest person in my family and he is still doing so great! It is amazing to me that you can live to be 90 years old and still be in good shape! He is not in the "best" shape by any means, but for being 90, I'd say he's great!
My mom's dad died when my mom was 12 and this man stepped into her life and was always so great to her! He is the only Grandpa I've ever known and is a great grandpa to have! I'm so happy that he is still here with us to celebrate so many years! Here's to another good 10!!! Love this man!

When life gives you lemons...

Alana’s baby “Flower” is the size of a lemon this week! We
hit the 3 month mark! I LOVE to compare the size of a baby to fruit or veggies!
It was my favorite part of being pregnant the first time as well as this time!
When I was pregnant with Alana my mom would ask me every week, “What fruit are
we this week??”. It’s tough to do this pregnancy without my mommy this time
around, but am so very grateful that she was here for my first!

Let’s see… I’m still feeling super sick at least 3 times a
day (most days). No rhyme or reason to it. No specific time, could have just
eaten or not. I could be sitting at my desk at work or lying in bed at night. Nausea
does NOT discriminate! Jerk, that Nausea. My lemon sure feels like a watermelon
already! They say you show sooner the second pregnancy and boy is that the case
for me! Not to mention I am not skinny to begin with. Clothes are super tight
around my stomach so this weekend I actually went out and bought a few new
pairs of work pants. I’m LOVING life at work this week already because of it!

Alana kisses and hugs my tummy every chance she gets. She
has no clue what is going to happen in her life, but I’m happy she loves the
baby so much already. We still have plenty of time to prepare her for January!

I stopped drinking Coffee and anything that has caffeine in
it. Yes, go ahead and insert your opinion here. But caffeine has never been a
friend of mine even not pregnant. So it’s just better that I stay away from it.
I’m not that person that can’t function without coffee. I JUST started drinking
coffee about 6 months ago when I meet Iced Coffee. And as fast as I started the
habit I thought it was a good time to stop it! Mind over matter. And it really
doesn’t matter that much to me….

I’ve been walking about 6 miles a week, trying to stay
active! Dr. said I shouldn’t be jogging. So my running partner next door to me
has been awesome enough to continue our 2 mile mornings with fast paced walking
instead! She normally gets out and runs a mile or two before I meet her.
Between time on the bike, just in the neighborhood and my walking 2-3 days a
week I’m doing really well. But that also makes me MORE tired! I can’t get away
from being tired. Too tired to get out of bed in the morning but too bad cause
I gotta drag my butt to work! Too tired to do anything when I get home from
work, but too bad cause I have a 4 year old, husband and a life. Too tired to
do anything but sleep on the weekends, but too bad cause it’s summer time and
have plans almost every weekend. Not sure if it’s just “Life” or being pregnant
that is making me so tired. But I HATE it. It makes me feel so lazy and I hate
being Lazy!!

Life the past few weeks seems really overwhelming. I’m the
type of person to be thinking 6 months down the road. Especially now!! It’s
just my nature. I thank my mom for that. You can tell me not to worry about
things that are going to happen or not happen in 6 months but it’s nearly
impossible for me. Things that are going on right now are effecting 6 months
from now! Work is overwhelming and my plate is more than full! I have too many
projects and not enough time or energy in the world for them. I can only pray
that after I have “Flower” I won’t have to come back to this place, but as it
stands right now I’ll have to. Unless things change drastically in the next 6
months, which is what I’m praying hard for every single day!

Trying to stay positive for my family is tough to do when I
feel like crap every day and am this tired. But I’m trying! Every hug from my
love bug and every laugh from my happy husband really helps me! Not to mention
the ice cream. That always helps too! Onto my third month! Hopefully soon that
jerk head Nausea will leave me alone and I’ll want to actually take some time
to do my hair again and feel good about myself!

Only 31 weeks to go!

Oh man! It's amazing how different this pregnancy is than Alana's. With Alana I was not sick one day and I'm pretty sure I've been feeling so sick since the day I found out I was pregnant. Whoa, what a change!! Not only am I sick ALL THE TIME, but I can't believe how TIRED I am. I never in a million years thought that growing a tiny baby so early in pregnancy would make me this tired! It's crazy how your body works! Working and already having a 4 year old makes for this pregnancy being different as well. Obviously I worked before, but at that job I didn't do a whole lot, where I am now I work TONS and don't get too much down time.

The first few weeks Alana wanted to name the baby "Blanket". No, she has no idea that's MJ's kids name. It was pretty funny. She now would like her sister named flower. Why you ask? I thought at first she was just picking random objects, but it turns out she has some logic behind Flower. Sleeping Beauty was Briar Rose, she is Alana Rose, so why not name her sister Flower?

I know, I keep saying sister. Alana will not have a brother, she only wants a sister. In her words "So she can grow up and be just like me". She loves herself! Haha. It's funny what a 4 year old thinks about.

I didn't start my blog until a month before Alana was born so I don't "remember" a lot of milestones of my pregnancy with her. When I felt her for the first time, when we found out it was a girl, all that fun stuff. So I may have a mix of both on here so I can "remember". And by remember I mean that anything I have on my blog I remember. Because it's here in writing and in pictures! That's how I remember stuff.

3 + 1 = four

I know, it's just a tiny little peanut! But it's MY tiny little peanut that is baking inside me!!! This is love at first sight!!

Someone has been so excited to be a big sister!!

The week of my Relay for Life (pics coming soon) it was a stressful week. I laid in bed Sunday morning and my stomach started to feel sick. I thought I might throw up. Then I remembered a conversation that Crystal and I had about how bummed I was going to be when I had the visit from my aunt flow during Relay. Porta potties are no bueno. Hmm... So I counted the days since my last and knew I needed to take a test! Victor and I ran to the store to get a test and came home and tested. I made him go look to see if had one or two lines. He walked out of the bathroom and said "I THINK it has two lines" with a BIG smile on his face. You think?!?! Well it does or it doesn't, as I run into the bathroom to confirm for myself! IT DID! We cried, we were excited and freaking out at the same time. Holy crap. Game changer.

I made my first few phone calls to my usual suspects. Then it was off to Grandma's house to pick up Alana. Telling Alana was going to be so fun because for the past 6 months she had been talking about wanting a baby sister. Her teacher at school was pregnant so she knew a little bit about it. She even went as far as the month before I even found out, she drew our family picture with dad holding a little baby. She knew?!?! She hoped. We told Alana and she said REALLY?!?! So excited and gave me a big hug. We told her to go tell Grandma that mommy had a baby in her tummy. This would not have been the first time she told Grandma those words. Although this time it was the truth. Grandma brushed them off because she knew Alana had cried wolf before. Alana repeated it to Grandma 3 times before she took it seriously! It was a great moment!

Things have changed so much from the day I found out I was pregnant with Alana. Since then being on facebook I've known so many people to have been pregnant and then have a miscarriage. I've seen several of them play out on facebook and it's heartbreaking. I held it back until I could get to the doctor and heart that heartbeat for myself. In the meantime we've had so many changes going on I've been so stressed out. Which added to the stress of worrying about a miscarriage. Crazy how that works. Things are so much better now. At almost 9 weeks I got to see my peanut and see the amazing little heartbeat. The tears it brought to my eyes I can't even explain. The stress that is lifted off of me is amazing! I'm having another baby and I couldn't be happier. There is NEVER a perfect time to plan for a baby, but I feel like this is the best time ever! God knows what he is doing.

Crazy Nap time

When Alana gets into bed at night or for a nap during the day time, she knows she's not allowed to play with her toys in her room. That doesn't stop her from getting up occasionally and bringing something to bed with her. The day of her birthday party when I went to wake her up from her nap, I found her with her umbrella, which she adores because she painted it herself, laying in bed over her. Of course I had to run out and get my camera so I could take a picture. This girl makes me laugh!

Then yesterday while taking a nap she apparently thought it was too bright in her room. Victor went in to wake her up and found her in her new Hello Kitty Sunglasses. I love my funny girl!

No one's home

No one blogs anymore... well almost no one, but Jessica and Susan's blogs can't be the only ones I ever read anymore. I need some new ones to follow because every has gotten so busy and doesn't blog anymore! I want to see pictures of your kids and how big they are getting! I want to see your vacations and events you have going on! Dang people, start blogging again!

Let's go Angels!!

I LOVE our family Angel nights! Alana was so loving and wanted to give kisses so I took advantage of that! She is being very patient for the games this year and it's nice! Last season she just wanted to walk around the whole time and didn't care much for the game. This year she will sit with a bag of peanuts and be pretty content for more time than not!

Just a girl and her daddy.

Me and my sweet cuddle bug!

**Cheese**

Not the best picture, but the only of the three of us from that night.

My favorite picture of the night and maybe of the year!! She LOVES the rally Monkey, as long as he is not playing in the movie Psycho at the stadium. She had him wrapped around her for most of the night. I love this sweet smile.

Tonight

It's amazing what songs your kids will pick up on! Alana LOVES this song by FUN. Anytime it plays in the car, she asks me to turn it up and then sings it at the top of her lungs. Between this, Paradise from Coldplay and Moves like Jagger she picks up on songs really quickly. She may be tone def? But I LOVE her singing!!

Coldplay

It was the usual suspects ready for an amazing concert!

Packed like sardines into the Hollywood Bowl. (Not joking) Wrist bands were passed out when we first came in for everyone to where. We had no idea what these fun little wrist bands had in store for us. They all lite up in sync to the music. They were amazing additions to the concert and made for a very fun show with everyone's hands in the air!

Coldplay puts on a very colorful show!

Sea of colorful wrist bands - BEST CONCERT IDEA EVER!

I heart Coldplay!

Favorite song of the night, made me tear up.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face

And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Go Angels

Onto a happy post... Angels kicked The Dodgers butt's last week at our first game of the season!
*Daddy's Angel**

Sad day

The day before my birthday I got a call from my cousin that my Aunt Jan had passed away. It was a very sad day in my life as well as a lot of other people. My Aunt Jan was like a second mom to me. After I moved out of my parents house and needed to move "back into my parents house" she offered her house as a temp place for me. I lived with her two times in 5 years when I needed a place to live. She was always my favorite Aunt. We were the closest. I was like her in a lot of ways. My sister started to call me "mini Aunt Jan". I took that to be offensive when I first heard it. She was always demanding and bossy. She ran her own catering company and I worked for her for years. She was in fact bossy and demanding, but she always got the job done and always was very loving to anyone who knew her. She would let my friends work for her catering on the side to make an extra $100 here and there. She was the first one to volunteer to have a Holiday party at her house and if it wasn't at her house, she was catering it wherever it was. In my family, the second you got married, she would be the first to ask when and can I cater it? For my wedding she was my savior. When a bride comes to her wedding day, there is already enough stress, but knowing that my Aunt Jan was taking care of everything really helped me get through my day. Between her and my cousin Chrissy, I didn't have to worry about a thing! I walked into the reception hall and everything was even better then I could have ever dreamed of! Nothing I would have changed! They made sure the pressure was off of me and took care of it all! From the decorations and the food, to the cake that SHE made me. She never missed a beat! Everything had to be perfect in her eyes and always was. She made sure of it!

When Alana was born she made sure to make a trip down to see us at the hospital. Every time we came over she was the first to stretch out her arms to hold her. The second you walked in the door at her house, she tried to feed you. Didn't matter if you just ate, she wanted to make sure you weren't hungry or thirsty!

This lady was one of the most important women in my life. When my mom died, she took care of everything for us. She made sure there was hot coffee and food at the house so that when people came over we had stuff for them. She really was just the best Aunt ever! Her warm hugs and the love for Alana will be missed. She always thought of me as her 4th child. She told me that so many times! She had 5 grandchildren and made Alana her 6th. Every Christmas and birthday and any Holiday really, she always made sure to get Alana something and include her in everything she did for her grand kids.

I write this blog today because I haven't really been able to be very selfish with her death. She was my dad's sister and my cousin's mother. She was a lot to a lot of people so I've tried to remember that. But this is my blog so I can be as sad as I want to! :(

Her funeral way BIG with hundreds of people, the newspaper said about 600, but I guessed about 800. Some amazing articles were written about her in the paper which was really nice, and then I found out yesterday they are going to name an award after her. Pretty awesome. I miss her and love her. I'm glad she gets to hang out with my mama now. Those were two of the coolest ladies I had ever had the privilege to be close to!

No title

I'm calling this post "no title" because I don't really think there is a title that would be appropriate for this post. If you haven't read my last 3 posts below, I would stop reading now and read the three under this before you continue on with this post…. if you care to hear the whole story.
I'm writing this post because of those 3 posts I've written, otherwise I'm not sure I would have blogged about this at all. But I also feel writing about it may make me feel somewhat better… maybe.

My friend Melissa, from Michigan, became a close friend through work. We shared stories about our lives and our families and we bonded and became really good friends. She was diagnosed with Cancer and only had about 6-12 weeks to live when all this went down. She came to Cali (see below) and I took vacation days to hang out with her. I planned everything under the sun to do while she was here because we wanted to cross some things off of her bucket list. She came, we had a BLAST. She left. It was a very sad goodbye, we hugged and cried and I thought I might never see her again…I was right.
Through a really strange turn of events, a week later I found out that she lied about it all. YES, you read it correctly, she lied about everything. She is not dying of cancer, she doesn’t even have cancer. Her parents and her sister are all ALIVE. That sweet picture on the post from Sea World where the butterfly flew right up to her… it’s all a bunch of Bullshit. (insert Russell Brand's line from Forgetting Sarah Marshall)

I fell for it all, hook line and sinker. I was an easy target, with my mom passing away from cancer just a few years ago. Why didn’t I think to question any of the lies she told me you ask? I didn’t have any reason to. I am a nice and caring person…. there are so many times I look back now at big obvious things I should have questioned but it never occurred to me that she would have been lying about any of it, let alone ALL of it.

My heart broke as I learned the truth. I haven’t talked to her since. I don’t want to talk to her. I had so many people praying for that girl, my entire church and all of my close friends and family. Everyone did so much for her while she was here to make sure that she had the best time she could have. It was all one big lie. I would love to confront her and ask why, I really just would like to know why anyone on earth would suck me in like that just to lie about it all. But those are answers I’ll never get. I thought I was gaining a friend for life. I am a nice person and would have done everything for her as a friend, and not a dying friend so I really don’t see the point to it all. Probably never will. But just had to get it out.

If you are one of my friends that prayed for my dying friend Melissa, please continue to pray her for. She needs a lot of prayer. For different reasons, but she still needs prayer. My heart will mend over time but it has forever changed me regardless.