A Friend of mine

 5 years ago when me and the kids moved in with my cousin, I started walking the neighborhood every morning. It was my time to get out of my head, I would jog, I would walk, skate, bike. Whatever got me out of the house, music in my ears and thinking about nothing! 

It amazing what you learn and who you meet when you are out walking the streets of your neighborhood every day. You see things you would never see driving down the street. You get to memorize all the house and the yards, which cars belong in which driveways and you really get to to know every little detail if you pay attention. There were several people that I would be out at the same time walking with. Sometimes I would stop and chat, sometimes I would just give a wave, or a good morning. 

Rhonda was the exception. She lived in the corner house and was ALWAYS out sitting on her doorstep on a bench in the mornings. It started with a wave, and then a little bit of chatting here and there. She reminded me a little bit of my dad. The things she would say, her mannerisms, she thought she was funny and would tell you jokes, just like dad. She always checked to see how the kids were doing and always compliment me in some kind of way. Most days I would just wave and say hi, but the times I did stop to have conversations with her, I just feel in love with her sweet, kind and spunky personality. After my dad passed away, it made me want to talk to her even more. She would tell me stories about growing up in Erie, PA, living in a flat with her parents and grandparents. Her little brother named Georgie who died when she was just 3. She worked at the Disneyland Hotel for years in some kind of accounting job. Both of her parents had lived in the house she currently is at, but her mom died of Ovarian Cancer in 89 and her dad died of cancer in 91. She has one friend named Helen who lives in Solvang and is in her 90's and other than a few neighbors checking in on her, she had nobody else. 

I'm sure this is what drew me closer to her. Having no one to help her out and me being left with no one to take care of... seems like a good friendship to have for the both of us. The crazy thing is that every morning she was out on her front porch, she would eat on her front porch, go between her side yard and the front porch and then settle into her car in the driveway to sleep. Her car was full of papers and bags and what looked like to be a LOT of clutter. Because neighbors talk, I was told she was a hoarder and lives in her car because her house is full of all the same clutter and trash. You could tell from her front porch that she kept everything, and it also didn't smell great. It was not an ideal situation for anyone to be living that way. 

Rhonda was not very open about talking about it. In fact, it was even comfortable bringing any of it up to her. But knowing she was sleeping in her car, in her front seat, I knew that all of the outside elements was not making it easy for her. When it was cold and raining, I worried about her staying dry in the car and warm enough. When it was hot during the summer time, she would have random people bring her ice to stay cool. She was smart enough to order amazon fresh for food and drinks. Anytime we made extra food, I would bring her down a container so she could have a hot meal. I know other neighbors did the same. I would always offer for her to come to the house and hang out with us, but she never felt comfortable taking me up on my offer. Until one day, during one of the summers when it was over 100 out she texted me and asked if I would come get her and bring her into the house with AC. You know I was on it! I loaded her and her walker into my car and had a nice comfy chair waiting for her in the house with some cold water. I think that was the first time where she actually decided she was going to trust me. She had a problem with trusting people. She thinks everyone is out to get her, or that everyone has bad intentions. In all honesty, I think she has some mental issues. And that's ok, don't we all? That didn't change who she was or how she was living. That week, I brought her in a few days in a row until the heat wave was over. 

Every day I would think about her and worry about her. At night when we would drive by, you would see the light from her phone in the car. Then the next morning out on my walk, I made sure to stop by and say hi, to make sure she was out of her car and doing ok. She would use her walker to get herself out of her car (it was on a slant in the driveway) and walk over to her bench on the porch. This is not a way to live and it was hard to see her like this. There were a few times that year where she would be gone from her house and I worried about her, but neighbors said she had gone to the hospital and then was in a rehab facility because she would have an infection and need a few weeks to clear it up. But then she would come home and fall back into the same routine. 

One day when I was visiting with her she was not looking great. In fact, she said she had an infection. I was checking in on her pretty often throughout the day. She was pretty weak and couldn't get up out of her car herself, with her walker or her cane. I had Victor come down there with me and help me put a sheet around her and get her up out of her car into her wheelchair. I wheeled her up to her front porch in the shade and stayed for a bit, but eventually left her there and told her I would be back later to help her into her car. She was happy sitting there just watching people go by and doing her thing. It was such a terrible situation to leave someone in, but she didn't want help and didn't trust anyone enough to help her. That afternoon I got a weird text from her that made zero sense, so Victor and I headed down the street to see her. Sure enough, she was not very coherent and was making no sense when she was talking. Something was clearly wrong with her. I had to call 911 and wait for the ambulance to get there. They pulled up to check her out and this was not the first or 3rd time they had come to help her. They knew who she was and that she lived in her car. They asked me lots of questions, but of course I didn't know much. They took her to the hospital and then onto the same rehab facility. Again, she had an infection in her that wasn't being taken care of. 

I was able to visit her in the rehab facility a few times and would sit and chat with her to keep her company. She was doing PT, but this facility was not great. It's all she could afford. They give her meds and every time I would talk to her and ask her when she was going to come home, something else would come up. Another infection, some type of arm or muscles issues. She basically could not get herself out of bed alone. Knowing that she was going to have to move from her car to a wheelchair or walker at "home" made me worry so much about her. They can NOT allow her to go home. She really has no home to go to... did they know her situation and what they were sending her back to? How could anyone know and allow her to leave that facility? She is a grown ass woman and can make those decisions I guess. 

She never got stronger, she could never lift herself out of bed, she can't walk without a walker. She has been in this rehab facility now for over 2 years. I've been several times to visit and she would always tell me, they are going to release me in a few weeks. I would worry about it and then not hear from her. I was her only ride home, so I knew she wasn't coming home without me knowing about it. But that never happened. And I'm so incredibly grateful she hasn't been home. She lies in a hospital bed at a nursing facility, eats three meals a day, gets to be in the AC and watch TV. If you ask me, they suck at taking care of her, her PT is a fricken joke and they were charging her an arm and a leg to stay there. She has been there over 2 years and still isn't walking on her own. She is a very private person so she only tells me so much and I only ask so much, because I know she doesn't want to tell me. 

Lately, the city enforcement has been on her ass about the house. 2 years ago when she first left the house, I cleaned up the front porch. I pretty much sorted and bagged things that she would want to keep and then tossed everything else. I scrubbed the porch down, cleaned it all up and organized it the best I could. Since then, the city has come down on her hard. I'm sure it's all the neighbors complaining, which they have the right to do, because there is a lot going on. In her driveway, sits her beat up car that doesn't work and is full of trash. Her porch is "clean-ish" but still has several things sitting there waiting for her to come back. Her backyard has been overgrown in a crazy way with bushes and weeds. Her side door in her side yard has a big hole in it and you can see the trash coming out of the door. There is a lot going on that needs to be taken care of. 

So because I am me, and she has no one else, I stepped in over the last year and took care of things! Specifically over the last few months. I got her side door replaced. Victor and I spent a few hours cleaning out from behind the door so it could even be replaced. Everything went straight into the trash. It was a really dirty and hard job, but we got it done. Then I bid out for her backyard and got a great deal with a local guy for them to come out and clear it out. What I'm most proud of is hiring a guy to come and clean out her garage. It feels like it was going to be SUCH a big job and looking into that doorway, there was no way that Victor and I could do it ourselves. I again, bid out the job and found a guy who would do it for half the price the other junk company would. It took 2 full days but we got it done. Honestly, it felt like it would never end, but at the end of the 2nd day, we were done. I know, I hired and paid the guy, but then I came for the full two days and helped. I was more trying to organize and help to make sure we got it done in the two days. It was fricken hard work and it was everything you think it is. When you see those companies come into a hoarders house and start to work and move things, it was all of that. But so proud to have gotten it done and then we were able to move the car into the garage so it was out of sight from city enforcement. Done and done!  

I'm documenting all of this because it was such a crazy experience for me. The entire situation from meeting Rhonda, having a relationship with her over the years, worrying about her, trying to get her to let me help her. Actually making progress with her and cleaning some of it up. This is definitely something I have never done before. I hope to be able to continue to help her. Help her get back into her house. Is that realistic? Probably not at this point, but we have made leaps and bounds of traction so maybe... The house inside is full of all the same things, so an even bigger job for a 4 bedroom house.

East Coast Trip - Waterville, Maine

This is part two of our East Coast Trip, scroll down to previous post for Part 1.

The drive from Boston to Waterville Maine was an easy 3 hour drive. We got out of the city pretty quickly and it was onto the highway for the next couple hundred miles. We drove through New Hampshire for about 12 miles and then we were in Maine! The first thing I noticed about our drive was the green forest we were in the middle of. On both sides of the Highway it was just tall beautiful green trees. It felt very dense. In CA, our freeways and highways are lined with houses, restaurants or shopping centers. It was a breath of fresh air to be in the midst of all the green! 

Welcome to Maine! Bucket List Check!

The first thing we did was send the kids on an adventure! Winston and Sterling live with a creek in their backyard so I asked, young strapping Winston, to take the kids in their canoe down the creek! He was more than happy to show them around. They hopped in the canoe and off they went! 

Victor and I enjoyed some adult time while we waited for the kids to return. They were gone at least an hour, Winston just keep going and going. None of them had their phones so I have no pictures from their trip, but I like it that way. The four of them have been friends for 5 years and don't see each other often, so I'm sure their were some fun conversations had. 

Some end of the evening down time playing video games like old times.

Since we were in the Lobster capital of the world, I had to eat my fair share of Lobster! Jay is a really good cook and an even better host. We went to their little local lobster shake to buy 6 of their biggest living lobsters to cook! I had been looking forward to this night since summer when Jay said we should cook Lobster. He took the bag of live lobsters out of the fridge, and since we picked them up, I had been wondering for hours what they were doing in the fridge. Just hanging out in a bag, ready to meet their doom. It started to really weird me out. I LOVE lobster but somehow I was freaking out a bit about taking them live and cooking them. The water was boiling and it was time to add them to the pot. It was weird and I was freaking out.... I picked them up one by one for a picture opportunity and was having second thoughts about what I was about to do. One of the lobsters in my hand flapped it's tail at me and I dropped it on the floor. The experience was weird and I was not a fan of it all.

Cooked lobster in a pot is SO VERY different than the picture of them above. These below are the kind I eat and didn't feel so weird.... still a weird experience that I'm glad I had, but probably not going to do again. The meal was a feast fit for a king for sure! We paid about $60 for all 6 of these guys! Jay did a wonderful job of explaining to us how to break apart the lobster and get the most meat out of it. I ate it all. Every bit of it I could get to! It was SO yummy! So thankful for this lobster bake night!

Day 2 in Maine and we planned a White Water Rafting Trip! Victor and I have both been together twice before, but this was going to be the kids first time ever on a river White Water Rafting! Since I booked this trip weeks ago, I had been looking forward to this day for myself and for the kids to have such a cool experience. Alana was nervous, not knowing how things were going to go, and was a bit scared leading up to it. Rightfully so, you just never know what to expect when you try something new. But I always stick to "try something once, and if you don't like it, you never have to do it again". The kids trusted us and were in! Jay's back had been bothering him so Victor and I took the 4 kids and headed an hour out to the Kennebec River. The day was gloomy, no sun in the horizon but warm enough to be on the river! We pulled up, listened to the orientation and suited up to head out on the river! We are a good looking bunch to toss in a raft and throw down the river!

When I booked the trip, Victor definitely had some hesitation about taking the kids out. The first time him and I went out rafting, I got tossed out of the raft pretty quickly and it was a scary thing to happen. So I'm sure he was thinking, what the heck are we getting our kids into? I called down and spoke to the girl at the front when I was booking and confirmed it would be a safe trip for kids. She assured me they have kids that are 5 who go on this trip, it's safe for everyone.

It was about a 45 minute drive in a bus up the river. We left our phones, clothes and everything we brought with us in our cars. The bus trip was rough, as we all sat and anticipated what was to come. The guides were fun and went over all the rules and safety guidelines. Things you didn't want to hear, and things you needed to hear and remember. We got out of the bus and grabbed our raft and headed to the river. We had a rehearsal on land and decided that Winston and I would take the front lead of the raft. I think we were more "voluntold" than anything. We had to walk our raft down, what felt like a thousand stairs to get there. We loaded it in the river and we were off! It wasn't until right then all the hesitation Victor had before hand and the nervousness of being a parent, taking our kids out on the river HIT me like a tons of bricks. What the hell was I doing? What kind of danger was I about to put my kids in. Not only was I responsible for my own two kids, but I had two others with us. Winston and Sterling had been twice before, so thankfully I was more comfortable with them. Oh boy, this feeling was not fun and it had my blood and adrenaline pumping probably way more than normal. 

We were about to go down some class 4 rapids. 4 is pretty big and scary, but fun. We were starting off with some 2's and 3's, then hitting a couple of 4's, more 2's and 3's and then we were going to be done. I can DO THIS. Paddle, dig into the water, keep my kids in the raft. If they fall out, I grab them and pull them back in. They will be fine. Keep myself in the boat. Lock my feet into those spots and secure myself. HERE WE GO!

Lucky for us there were some professional photographers standing out on the rocks taking pictures of us. Hence the big smiles, and the very nervous smiles. So grateful for these pictures of our amazing adventure on the Kennebec River. 

WE MADE IT!!! 

The last hour and a half of the trip was just us floating down the river with very tiny rapids or none at all. The boys got a chance to jump in the river and float down outside of the raft. They weren't pushed or popped out, they were allowed to jump in and ride the river. As sad as I am that I didn't have a phone or go pro with me to capture it all, it's probably for the best. Floating down the river in the middle of the gorge in Maine was such a amazing experience. We saw a beautiful bald eagle perched up on a tree and sat and listened to the sounds of the river. I said a few different times as we all sat and looked, and soaked it in.... soak all of this in kids, we don't have anything like this in California. They did! They soaked it all in and will have these memories for the rest of their lives! The time their parents took them for their very first White Water Rafting Trip in Maine. What an amazing family adventure. No regrets! 

The day we were leaving Maine, Erica asked the kids, what was their favorite part about this trip. They both said White Water Rafting! Parents for the win!

The rest of the trip was lots of resting, a little bit of exploring and visiting with our favorite family. Lobster Musubi, rain, Two Cent Bridge, in door pool time at the hotel and a goodbye Dunkin (check mark) breakfast.

Saturday morning we drove an hour into Portland to explore on our own for the day and then to catch our flight that evening. We walked through the Harbor and shops, grabbed a few souvenirs and had our very last lobster roll. Oh, and let's not forget the trip to the Sasquatch Museum. Weird, weird place. 

Our flight out of Portland to JFK was easy peasy, 45 minutes. Unfortunately for us the next leg home was no fun. Delayed in the airport for 2 hours, LONGEST plane ride ever from JFK to LAX (no sleep for me), landing at 2:30am, got our car and home by 4am. As we pulled into the garage at home, "Hurricane" Hilary was just starting to bring the rain to OC. 

Our East Coast trip was definitely an amazing experience. We got to visit our friends, have new first time adventures and spend quality time together as a family. Sad its over, but so incredibly happy we made it happen! We work damn hard for every penny we earn and I'm so grateful we create these opportunities for us.

East Coast Trip - Boston

 This summer when our friends, The Wall Family, came out to visit from Maine, we talked about us taking a trip out there before the summer was up! So I got to planning and we made it happen before school started! 

When I was in 5th grade I did my State project on Maine. I did lots of research, read books about it, looked it up in encyclopedia (I'm old) and got up in front of the class and told everyone about its beauty! The flower, the flag, the history, ALL the lobster and all that fun stuff. Since then I have thought about visiting Maine but never really had a reason or opportunity to until this year! 

Back in 2018 when Jack started T-ball his BB BFF was Sterling. He was this sweet little guy that had the coolest family! We all became instant friends. We did dinners and fun nights of hanging out with them in Irvine. I knew when I meet Erica and Jay that we would be forever friends. Erica is one of the most interesting women to talk to. She is full of life, has the BEST laugh and the coolest job. When she was in CA she had her own Art Studio and was a curator. She grew up in LA, is the most beautiful, strong Black Woman and has an opinion about everything. Which I highly respect on pretty much any topic! She is just such a fun person to be around. So I made a new friend. Her husband is one of the nicest, selfless people ever and would literally give you the shirt off of his back. He does an outstanding job keeping the boys busy with sports and outdoorsey stuff. They lived in Irvine with their two boys, Winston and Sterling. Our families got along well and so when they moved away to Massachusetts, I knew we needed to keep in touch. They come out during the summer for a Palm Springs get away and we try to make it over there to see them every year. This year as we sat in the 110 degree heat chatting, we decided I would bring the family out to Maine to visit! We decided to meet in Boston for a few days and then drive out to Maine, where they live. Thankful for Victor's hotel discounts, we were able to book an employee rate in both cities! 

We flew into Boston on a Sunday. It was the kids second airplane ride, direct flight and was pretty easy! Why does my teenager look so angry? Because she is a teen and half the time hates when I take pictures of her. So the majority of her teenage life she is going to look like this. Am I winning as a parent, no. But such is life. Jack is still happy to take pictures with me! The flight was beautiful and I enjoyed seeing all the green that was in Boston from the air!
 

As soon as we got to Boston, Jay and Sterling were already checked into the hotel waiting for us! We stayed at the Dagny, a fancy hotel right in the middle of downtown Boston, close to everything! Yay for employee rates! First things first, we dropped our luggage and went to explore the city! We headed just down the street to the Quincy Market to grab a bite to eat. It's a looooonnnggg hall with everything to eat that you could think of. Lots of little eateries with a billion different options. Boba, Corn dogs and steak sandwiches for the win! Now that our tummies were full, it was time to walk down to the North End to get some dessert. I was told by multiple people to try either Mikes or Modern Pastry. Lines were out the door for both places so Jay said we should try Modern Pastry and so we got in line with about 30 other people. 

We tried one of everything. A lobster tail (pastry stuffed with cream), a Cannoli, Eclair, Strawberry Shortcake and Alana needed that Crème Brulee.  Heaven in a box! We took it and walked to the nearest little park with water springs and a chance to sit and take it all in. Sterling and Jack ran that sugar off and were just so happy to be hanging out together again. Every time they see each other, they pick up like they never have been apart. It's my favorite thing about them! Our first night in Boston was awesome. The weather was great, the company even better and we got a little taste of the yumminess it has to offer!

Soaking in all beautiful lights and sounds! With two smiling kids this time! I'm feeling so grateful to be in Boston with my family this year. 

The revolving door was a hit with the boys! Oh, to be 10 again!

The first full day in Boston we started off by visiting the Boston Tea Party Museum. This was recommended to me by a co-worker who was just there with her kids. I'm glad to I booked it. It was a lot of fun! On our way there, we found a park for the kids to run their energy out first!

The Museum was very interactive and full of history! I loved that the people who worked there were great actors, embodied their roles and made our tour fun! I also found this awesome "Tower" drink while in the museum. It's Raspberry Lime Rickey. Probably one of the best soda's I've tasted. Totally going to order some online and have them shipped. Why is everything so much tastier when you are on vaca? 

Each person received a card of who they were for the tour. After a tour of the ship, we got to throw Tea into the Harbor! The whole museum was very interactive, it made us part of history! Talking pictures and lots of reenactment videos. 

The museum had cool artifacts also. An actual tea boxed that was saved and a glass bottle containing actual tea from the event! A great way to learn about our History and the fun city of Boston!

We headed over to the Barking Crab for lunch. Alana and I shared some great Ahi tacos and Crab cakes! Must eat ALL the Seafood while there!

Another stop at the playground before heading over to the T! 

Purchased my first Charlie Card, thankfully Jay knew his way around, so we just followed him. Inbound, Outbound, yellow, green, orange lines, OH MY! 

We headed over to see Fenway Park. Home of the Red Socks. I didn't need to see a game, but had to at least see the outside of the stadium while we were there! 

On the way there, Jay pointed out this place that had the "Best" Lobster roll in Boston. Of course we had to stop and check it out. He was NOT lying. It was by far the BEST lobster roll we had the entire trip. The place was called Eventide Fenway and it was served on a Bao bun. BEST EVER. 

I loved to see the architecture of the buildings in Boston. They are some of the oldest in the country and you can tell! The art all over the city was beautiful as well.

The boys and their banana dance. 

The afternoon was followed by fun in the city water and a yummy dinner at Legal Seafood where I enjoyed the Lobster Mac-n-cheese. Hey, when in Rome right? 

    

Our first full day in Boston was rounded out by a night tour of Ghosts and Gravestones! This one was at Alana's request. The night tour took us around Boston and gave us lots of ghost stories, graveyards and scary history! 

      

Final day 3 in Boston was rainy as hell, but we had to take the famous Boat Duck Tour, rain or shine! Our Guide was really funny and made us laugh the entire time. We didn't realized how many Dunkin Donuts there were in Boston until he pointed them out. Each time we would pass one he asked everyone to make check mark to see how many we passed by the end of the tour. We would pass one and he would yell out "Check Mark" in his Boston accent. For the next few days, every time we saw one on our trip, we would yell out "Check Mark" in our own Boston accent. It's so popular on the east coast. 

Jack, Alana and Sterling all got to "drive" the boat for a few minutes and we all joined them at the front of the boat for a picture. This might be my favorite picture from Boston. 

After the Boat Tour it was time for Jay and Sterling to drive home to Maine, and we were going to head out the next morning to follow them. Jack wanted to head home with them, so he left for the evening and Victor, Alana and I went out exploring the rest of the town. On foot. We walked a LOT. The night before on the Ghost Tour, they told us about the "Haunted Mirror" at the Parker House hotel. Charles Dickens used to practice "A Christmas Carol" in front of it and now when you take a picture in front of it, people have seen a lot of weird things happen. So you know we had to go check it out and take some pictures. I saw nothing and had nothing happen. Alana and Victor both had weird blue lights show up in their pictures. 

We visited the old State House and gave ourselves a tour of the building. It was marble and had some gorgeous staircases and ceilings. 

After a long day of walking around we ended our evening with a late dinner in the North End for some Italian food! Giamamo's for the win! Meatballs were awesome and Alana's Lobster ravioli's were her favorite food of the trip! As we were about to be seated (about an hour wait) the couple that was waiting in front of us, the girlfriend ended up passing out and Victor caught her head and brought her gently to the ground. She was fine, but it made our wait a bit more interesting. 

Our last night in Boston, I made sure to mail out my postcards from the fun looking Mail box in the lobby of our hotel. I LOVE sending postcards from my travels. I don't travel a lot, but when I do, I always send myself a postcard along with a few other specially selected peeps.

Our time in Boston was done, it was SO beautiful and full of SO much history! It was all of our first times so it was great to be able to do all the touristy stuff. Everything we did was recommended to us by someone who had been there before. Thankful for the family time we had in Boston exploring and having fun.